Triumph of the bearded Wurst

Conchita Wurst* wins Eurovision 2014 for Austria with Rise Like A Phoenix

* Wurst means 'sausage' in German

I feel sorry for all those outraged, licence-paying Medieval troglodytes who apparently had their Saturday family evening viewing suddenly "ruined" by Eurovision and then felt compelled to spleen vent around the social networks on a Sunday morning, instead of spending a sunny day picnicking or something just as nice, enjoying a few hours of their short lives with the folks they love, devoid of hatred and outrage.

I've just come back from Copenhagen with the family, and we had a great time at the event and around the city. To all those confused, insecure, rage-filled homophobic haters, I only have to say this: time to get off your sofas and enjoy the world outside your front doors and narrow minds - see you in Vienna!

I bathe in your outrage...